It's Monday afternoon. The week has barely started and I already have a lot to think about, in a good way, in a motivating way. I just finished my one-to-one with my manager, and it's something I always find genuinely interesting.
I never really had a figure like that in my career before this job. I came up in smaller, flatter teams, the kind where someone needed a developer and brought you in, and the hierarchy was loose at best. Agency work doesn't leave much room for structure. You just move fast and figure things out.
When I started my current role I got dropped into a completely different system. Having a manager and a proper structure wasn't something I struggled with exactly, I actually valued it, but I wasn't familiar with the rituals that come with larger companies. One-to-ones were one of them.
For the first few weeks I approached them as a check-in, a manager keeping tabs, making sure I wasn't going rogue. I felt like I was being assessed. There's obviously some truth in that, any manager wants a pulse on their team. But that's not really the point, and it took me a while to see them differently.
The shift came when I told my manager how I was experiencing these meetings, and they reframed it simply: this is your time. Time for your development. The concept didn't land immediately. But slowly it started to.
What I realised was that my approach to the role had been too passive. I was doing what was asked, staying in my lane, executing well. That's not a bad thing in itself. But I'd been waiting for growth to be handed to me, assuming that if I performed well enough, the interesting opportunities would find their way to me.
They don't work like that.
looked around at what my colleagues were doing and assumed I'd eventually get exposure to those things too. The harsh reality is that if you wait passively, the answer is never. Even in a company with a genuine culture of knowledge sharing and mentorship, you have to create the conditions yourself. Nobody slides into your DMs to offer you a lesson.
What I was missing was a clear sense of what I actually wanted. Without that blueprint, there's no plan, and without a plan, you can't recognise the opportunities when they appear. If you don't know where you're going, the journey doesn't really start.
It's taken time, and it's still ongoing. I keep thinking about what kind of professional I want to be, where my strengths are, where the gaps are, why I was hired and whether I'm delivering on that, and what overperforming in my domain would actually look like. I try to stay curious about what's happening around me and stay alert to moments where I can add value, without overstepping, without forcing it.
My team is full of brilliant data engineers, experienced backend developers, analysts and SDETs. We're at the front of the company's AI efforts. The opportunities are genuinely there. It's a matter of understanding that and being bold enough to reach for them.
Today's one-to-one touched on a project that could shape the direction of our team over the next year. Still an early idea, but one I'm already excited about. I think I can bring real expertise to it, and I know it will push me into areas where I have gaps. Both things feel good.
I can't wait to get stuck in.