Starting a new job is always a shock to the system.
This time, it’s not just the role that’s different. The whole environment is. Not better, not worse. Just… different. And that difference has a way of making every interaction feel magnified. Every conversation, every decision I’ve made in these first weeks comes with a background hum of: Am I good enough for this? When will they realise they hired the wrong person?
The thing is, my new workplace is full of ridiculously talented people. The standard here, across all teams,vis sky-high. Just scrolling through our Slack channels feels like a masterclass. In my corner of the world, development is executed with an incredibly high level of skill and precision. It’s inspiring. It’s also intimidating.
I’m making my way through onboarding and my first tasks. The feedback’s been good. I can see my own improvement. I feel more settled each day. And yet… the doubt lingers.
Part of it is just who I am: introverted, ambitious, and a chronic overthinker. I’m drawn to challenges outside my comfort zone, but I also feel the strain of being out there. It’s an odd contradiction — seeking discomfort while bracing against it.
The other part comes from my career path. Up to now, I’ve rarely worked alongside other senior developers. The few I have met, I still think of as mentors. Here, seniors are everywhere. That’s a dream for growth, but it also makes me wonder if I’m experienced enough to belong in this room.
Then there’s the culture, which, ironically, is amazing. From day one, my team has shown a huge amount of trust. They’ve asked for my opinions, given me freedom in how I work, and genuinely waited for my input. It’s the kind of respect you hope for in any job. But combine it with everything above, and my brain starts spinning: Are my ideas good enough? Are my solutions solid? Or will this be the moment they realise I’m not?
Here’s the thing: I don’t think a bit of impostor syndrome is bad. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of doing the work, it keeps you grounded. There’s nothing worse than the new hire who storms in acting like they know everything. That’s not me, and I don’t want it to be. But I do need to dial down the self-doubt. At some point, the constant self-audit becomes counterproductive.
I care deeply. About my team, about the product we’re building, about the professional I am and want to be. That’s why I put so much pressure on myself. I’ve built my career on holding high standards, and joining a new environment feels like extra weight to prove myself all over again. There’s always a little fear that I’ll fly too close to the sun and find my limits. Which, to be fair, might not be a bad thing — if I can keep my head when it happens.
The thought that’s helping right now is simple: I didn’t stumble into this role by accident. I went through a long, rigorous interview process. I’ve been here weeks now, and the feedback’s been nothing but constructive. That means I belong here. I’m allowed to grow into this role. I’m allowed to make mistakes and improve. I don’t have to be perfect on day one.