I’m about to start my new job in a couple of weeks.
Honestly, with how hectic life’s been lately, I don’t think it has fully sunk in yet. It’s going to be a completely different setup. New team, new workflow, new everything, but between paperwork, wrapping up my current role, and just life in general, it all still feels a bit distant. Like something that’s happening to someone else.
But the days are creeping in.
And now that the switch is just around the corner, I find myself thinking about it more and more. About how it’ll be. About whether I’ll live up to the expectations I’ve set for myself, and the ones the company might have for a new hire.
That’s when the spiral starts.
It doesn’t take much for thoughts to turn into anxiety. Suddenly, I’m questioning everything: Why did I leave my comfort zone? Why am I putting myself in a position where I could fail, where people might realise I’m not good enough? It’s a familiar feeling — the one that’s quietly followed me for most of my career. I’ve learned to live with it. It doesn’t stop me from doing the work, but it makes the quiet moments hard. I feel like I’m always punching above my weight.
Then, the rational side kicks back in.
I went through a tough, structured hiring process. I was myself through every step. If they picked me, it’s because they saw something they liked, something that clicked. They think I can do this. And if they think I can, then I can. I wasn’t chasing safety. I was chasing growth. That doesn’t scare me. That motivates me.
Truth is, I’ve felt this way before. Every time I’ve changed jobs or made a big move, I’ve gone through this same cycle of nerves and self-doubt. And every single time, I’ve found my way. I’ve grown, adapted, learned. Why would this time be any different?
Still, I know I’ve got work to do. Not just professionally, but mentally. I want to finally let go of that urge to prove myself all the time. I don’t need to convince anyone of what I can do. The mindset needs to shift. This isn’t about defending my worth — it’s about leaning into the process. Evolving. Showing up every day to get better, not just to be seen.
Sure, being perceived as competent and sharp is nice. It feels good. But it’s not the point. That stuff is fleeting. What really matters is staying curious, staying humble, and stacking up small wins every single day. That’s where real value comes from — not from knowing everything, but from asking the right questions and showing the willingness to grow.
I didn’t choose an easy job. I chose the right one. The one that’ll challenge me, push me, stretch me. The one that’ll trigger the part of me that always wants to improve. Not just as a dev, but as a teammate and a person.
Being nervous is part of the deal. You don’t grow without discomfort. I’ll try to use that tension as fuel, to stay alert, stay present, stay eager. Nothing keeps you humble like being the new one in the room, banging your head on unfamiliar problems and realising (again) that no one has it all figured out.
Am I tense? Absolutely. Will that go away? Probably not. Am I ready? 100%.
Let’s go.