In my career, I’ve always felt like a junior.
I’ve never started a job as the “senior one.” My drive for new challenges and constant self-improvement has always pushed me toward roles where I had the most to learn — where everyone around me seemed smarter, faster, more experienced.
That mindset isn’t easy to live with. You constantly feel behind. You see gaps everywhere between who you are and who you want to be. The anxiety of not being good enough, of having overstepped your limits, never fully leaves. Sometimes I’ve wondered what it would feel like to just settle somewhere comfortable for once.
But here’s the thing: it’s also a mindset of growth.
By putting myself in those uncomfortable positions, I’ve had no choice but to learn. Every role I’ve taken has shaped me. Not just as a software engineer, but as a person. I’ve become better at listening, at navigating team dynamics, at understanding different cultures and perspectives. The pros easily outweigh the cons.
Still, there are moments when it gets heavy. When you’re always the junior, even if your title says otherwise, insecurities start to take root. Mine often show up as silence: I become overly cautious, second-guessing every sentence, replaying interactions in my head, holding back from asking questions. It’s exhausting. And it’s not sustainable.
Something eventually clicks, though. Maybe your skills catch up, or maybe your perspective shifts.
For me, that click happened in my new job.
I’m surrounded by brilliant minds. Some of the most talented professionals I’ve ever worked with. It’s intimidating, of course. They know more, they’ve been here longer, they speak the language of the company fluently. For a while, I felt like an imposter just trying not to get noticed.
But then I realised something. These people aren’t competitors. They’re potential mentors, colleagues who genuinely want to help. I just needed to see them that way.
That’s where the gold is.
Being intimidated by your environment only makes things harder. You start working tense, doubting every move, and ironically, that makes you worse. So I decided to flip the script.
What’s the worst that can happen? Maybe I am not good enough, at least not yet. So what? That’s just another opportunity to learn. I can either hide behind fear or use this environment as fuel, learning from every single person around me.
Most likely, I’m just exactly where I should be — in the messy, confusing middle of growth. Lost, yes. Overwhelmed, often. But moving forward, always.
Do I have it all under control? Not really. Some days I feel unstoppable. Others, I’m convinced I’m lagging behind everyone else. But that’s fine. As long as I face it with curiosity instead of fear, it’s progress.
My story has always been one of growth. And I plan to keep writing it. One challenge at a time.